I glanced at nicks diary and i would have to totally agree with him. Same shit happens to me all the time, people only want to do stuff with me/talk to me because they want something, and they know i will give it to them. I cant change how generous I am, it would be against my will/moral to do something like that. I dont think its hypocrisy for you to feel this way. Its not being selfish, its being treated equally. I totally dont mind helping people whatsoever, but when they only talk to me to get something, or need help with something, it kinda makes me mad. I try to talk to people but that doesnt work, becuase they are only used to talking to me when they need me, instead of for leisure or just the hell of it.
You can probably sit here and say, oh god joe fuckin cry me a river. But i say, fuck off , because my life has been totally fucked up, i try to make the best of it, only to be let down. I dont give up. I strive to make a better life for me. I have mental illness, yes. Psychological Problems, everything is all in my head. Granted this has never been proven with a doctor, but its something i feel. If some people only knew how bad some people messed with my mind/emotions, then they would understand.
Im not looking for a sob story here, im telling you out front now. Im doing much better then i was weeks/months/years ago. Im overcoming some mind fucking from the past 5-6 years. Im building a better me. I can do it myself, but i would prefer to do it with friends, people who care, people who help.
Well ive gone on to long, and you have probably stopped halfway through and just started reading this hoping i would summarize everything. But i think ill goto sleep.
"Excuse me miss, would you like to buy a broken heart??"